So many people have said so many positive things very recently especially when replying to my journal entries. I can't describe in words how happy I feel when people reassure me or say such useful things. I guess I need these responses in these awkward and tiring times. I expect the next few years to not be so much easier either. In fact they ( Read more... )

These past few days since Wednesday have been pretty troubled. Something inside me is stirring that is making me very upset. The more I think about my feelings the more I feel upset. It knots me up inside. I was very reluctant to write lately because it feels so difficult. I am feeling very sad and sorry for myself, very melancholy. It almost ( Read more... )

I feel in a confused state of mind this morning yet I can’t understand why. Maybe it is something to do with what I talked about with my counsellor. The things that we talked about are probably quite true and they seem to sound like sense. Yet I just don’t know what it all means now and in the future of my life. I think there must be more to it ( Read more... )

It was interesting what I spoke about with my counsellor this afternoon. Some things really sounded like they ringed true and some things were just obvious. One thing that I think will always crop up is not being surrounded by more females in my life than males. The suggestion was put forward that most of my earliest learning in life was a lot ( Read more... )

Aged 7:

I decided to try on step-sister Sarah’s ballet kit because I wanted to go to ballet like my sisters, and remember the feeling it gave me. Remember feeling how right it felt and the happiness it brought me. Although, I knew it was something I had to do in secret so I felt sad about that. I then started to wear Sarah’s clothes when no one ( Read more... )

I feel nervous yet eager to see my gender counsellor very soon. I want to get everything across as accurately as possible. I realise it is only early days but I hope that it will help me greatly in the long run. I guess I want to discover the truth about who I am. I know it will take me some time to get to the exact truth.

I wrote down ( Read more... )